My Heart Swells

Last night was probably one of the greatest nights of my life, at least compared to recently. The events that transpired probably doesn't even sound all that impressive either.

A bit of back story.

I am a person with depression and am not medicated. I was on them for a while and I hated it through and through. Sure, I may have no longer felt as sad and as negative, but I didn't even feel anything. I simply no longer cared about much even though all the pressure on my chest had been lifted. It took me a while to notice the change and even a little while longer to even care enough to stop the medication. After that things did get worse. Without getting into too much, it ended up with me spending all my time on my couch in the living room "watching tv." Since I also have ADD I couldn't sit still either. I had to physically DO something while sitting on the couch if it makes any sense. So I picked up crocheting. Okay okay, to be honest I had learned it a couple months back but I never touched it if only to move it from one spot to another. Having ADD I get bored pretty fast and move on to new projects. Thus learning many different things, like sewing (by hand as well as machine), knitting, and baking among other things. Yeah most of the things I learned probably are super domesticated sounding, they were just things easy to do that caught my interests. I just figure since this is my craft blog I'll just stick to craft things. At least to start out. Anyway, the only crochet techniques I learned were to make chains, ch1, turn, st to end, ch1 turn. Even something as simple as that I wasn't very good at it--had some trouble with the tension. For some reason, this time around, I randomly picked up my old box of yarn, a crochet hook, and a random hat pattern. Learned how to crochet 6 into a magic ring and off I went. My first hat took me 15 hours to finish. And that is basically the story of how I picked up crocheting.

Fast forward to today. I have been pretty tense and frustrated with how things are going and I had no tolerance for anything any longer. I was irritable at just about everything and anything and overall had a very negative mindset. Kept up with my crochet project though. This is the longest I have kept up with any kind of interest and it surprises me a little if not just amused. Made a couple of good looking hats (aka improved), scarves, amigurumi, the list goes on and on. Monday I stuffed a Jack and Sally amigurumi dolls, a small Cthulhu hat, and a couple of other things in a box and shipped it off to my friend in Florida, Jon. Now about this friend, he's a pretty good friend of mine and my boyfriend and I had helped him move to Florida a while back. In Florida I met his family who are a bunch of awesome people btw! In this family of his was this little girl.

This girl is the one who just made my day, if not my entire year. The Cthulhu hat I had made was for her, and according to Jon, she wore the hat "for a long time today." Today being yesterday, the day the box arrived. That simply just made everything better. It made me realize just HOW down I was about everything. The entire time I knew that, sure, I'm in a slump, but it'll be fine right? I just kept thinking it was nothing and I was just a little down. But hearing that it was worn all day? The fact that I was just THAT happy about something seemingly so small just showed me how far down I had to be feeling if I was just THAT happy. It was like being slapped into reality. Something had to change, and I am making that change now. Last night is not the end for me I'm sure. There'll still be down points but at least I now have a reference point.

I think I shall plan a trip back to Florida for a little bit.

These are some of the things I sent over.

I had only sent over the Yoda amigurumi, not the legos, just to be clear.

That Yoda is the first "complex" small item I've ever made and I am quite proud of it. The first small thing was the Yip Yip I had made back in September. The Yoda was originally for my friend Jon, him being a Star Wars nerd himself, but being a grown-up, he wasn't present during the middle of the day in order to receive the gift. His niece thought the Yoda was just too awesome and had to keep it for herself (which is another thing I love!). I just thought that was the cutest thing ever and she can probably expect more gifts in the future.

So this concludes my sappy post, and I am excited to find more projects to make and send over to Florida.... Just gotta hope it's okay with her mother that I am spoiling her kid... Hm... will this turn out okay?!